


Amira and Matteo’s child gifting rampage

by TalkingAboutTheWeather



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humour, I love her, M/M, actually theyre BOTH dumbasses in here, and i love matteo, and i miss best buds interactions, bc while amira has all the braincells she is also...a dumbass, but yea...BEST BUDS, is that a setting, look at hannas and mias seasons, matteo is the biggest idiot ever, or an attempt at it, toy shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 09:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkingAboutTheWeather/pseuds/TalkingAboutTheWeather
Summary: “Matteo, you tried eating dog food last week, just because, and I’m quoting, ‘It’s food, too, how bad can it be?’”“It costs almost more than my usual dinner, Amira. It was reasonable and purely financially motivated research.”“You’re a dumbass, but that’s exactly why you’re perfect for this job.”Or, Amira needs Matteo’s help with something and our Best Buds go on a little adventure





	Amira and Matteo’s child gifting rampage

**Author's Note:**

> I miss my best buds so much!! And if druck wont deliver WE will have to

Matteo is happily enjoying his day off, laying on the couch and lazingly playing video games on his phone, when the doorbell starts to ring and _doesn’t stop_.

“Jesus christ,” he says, dragging his body up from the couch and towards the door. “I’m coming, you can stop this vile torture!”

He huffs, even though whoever is performing what sounds like a heavily distorted version of Vivaldi’s Primavera on his doorbell surely won’t hear him.

“Yes?” He asks into the buzzer.

“Let me in, Matteo.” Comes the short answer.

“Amira? What the _fuck_?”

“I’ll explain later. _Now let me up_.”

Matteo lets her up. What else is he supposed to do, really?

Finally, she arrives at the door, takes a moment to catch her breath back from running up the stairs, and enters the flat without sparing him a glance.

Matteo is left holding the door open and staring after her, “Um, Amira?”

She doesn’t turn back, going straight to the couch and letting herself fall onto it.

Matteo closes the door and follows her. “Okay, if I haven’t been clear enough earlier, I’d like to repeat myself: what the _fuck_?”

Finally, Amira looks at him. “I need your help.”

Her voice is terribly serious. Matteo leans on his knees, immediately worried. He frowns, “Of course, what is it?”

Amira sighs and looks up to the ceiling, “Okay so, Mohammed invited me to a family dinner for his little brother’s birthday and I have no idea what gift to get a five year old. I need your help to find one for like...tomorrow.”

Matteo blinks. She notices his lack of reaction and shakes his shoulders, “This is an emergency, Matteo! An emergency! Wake up!”

Matteo can’t contain it any longer and the laughter bursts out of him. “Are you _serious_?”

Amira scowls at him.

“Why did you even come to me? Don’t you have your whole girls crew for this? I’m sure Kiki would be ecstatic to go buy something for a child.”

Amira raises an eyebrow, “They are all busy. And I thought that you would be the one who gets a child’s mentality best, seeing as you are..._you_.”

“Hey.”

“Matteo, you tried eating dog food last week, just because, and I’m quoting, ‘It’s food, too, how bad can it be?’”

“It costs almost more than my usual dinner, Amira. It was reasonable and purely financially motivated research.”

“You’re a dumbass, but that’s exactly why you’re perfect for this job.”

Now, Matteo was having a fine, no, a _great_, day, lazing around on his own, eating chips, being alone in the WG without annoying flatmates, not having to think about anything at all but how to reach the next game level. He was really having an amazing day. And the way Amira asked for his help was a little insulting, to be completely honest. So why should he suddenly be going on a child gifting rampage and abandon his little piece of heaven?

Amira looks at him with scrunched up eyebrows, all worried and sad.

Matteo sighs. The things he does for his friends.

“All right, then. But you owe me one.”

  
*

  
And that’s how he finds himself in one of the biggest toy shops in Berlin, looking at a collection of disturbingly realistic toy guns.

He takes one, gingerly, and points it at Amira, “Why do you think guns are such a popular toy idea?”

Amira makes a grimace, “The celebration of violence our society holds up in every possible moment?”

“That’s fucked.” He grins, and presses the fake trigger “Pew.”

Amira wrestles the gun out of his hands and smacks his head with it. “We’re not getting Mohammed’s little brother a gun.”

“Never said we should. What does that boy even like?”

Amira sighs, “I don’t know...don’t all children under the age of ten have the same personality?”

“Uhhhh, no? Are you really the same person who graduated highschool with an almost perfect score?”

Amira shoots him with the fake gun. He feigns dramatically falling to the floor and dying.

Amira laughs and pokes his body with the point of her converse. “Get up.”

“No, leave me here. I’m dead.”

“I need your help, you can die later.”

“Rude.”

  
*

  
“Maybe he’s one of those magic obsessed kids?”

“You want to give Mohammed’s little brother a set of cards?”

Matteo shrugs. He takes some cards and starts shuffling them “Personally, I thought magic was _great_ as a kid.”

Amira snorts as some of the cards fly out of his hands and on the floor, “Now I also know where you get your stunning juggling abilities from.”

“I’ll have you know that I underwent professional circus education for like, three years when I was eight. I am a professional clown.” He nods, then stops. “No, wait.”

Amira laughs out loud.

She takes a cylinder and a wand from the wall and puts it on. She points at him with the wand, “Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, I am Amira the Amazing and this is my lovely assistant, Matteo the Miraculous.”

She bows to an invisible audience and whispers to him, “You need to look more miraculous than this or this won’t work.”

Matteo tries his best to look as miraculous as possible. He strikes a pose, with puckered lips and sexy leg up in the air and everything.

Of course, that’s the moment when a family with two little children passes through the otherwise empty aisle. Matteo wants to disappear. Amira won’t stop laughing.

  
*

  
They stand before a wall full of dolls.

Both of them have their arms crossed.

Amira says, thoughtfully, “Maybe he would like a barbie? They’re really impressively detailed these days.”

Matteo tilts his head, “I’m all about raising kids the same way and giving boys dolls to play with, but...do you really think Mohammed’s little brother would like...”, he takes the barbie before him, a hideous pink thing, and reads the label, “..a _barbie mermaid enchantress doll?”_

Amira shrugs. She doesn’t look very convinced, but she takes one too, “Maybe the fashionista one?”

Matteo puts the mermaid hybrid away, “Wow Amira, there’s even a political candidate barbie. That’s you!” He takes it and grins at her, “They’re really going all out, huh?”

Amira huffs, then she looks at the price and her eyes get humourously big. She gingerly takes the doll out of his hands and puts it back on the wall, “All right, we will _not_ get him a doll.”

Matteo sighs, “Here’s to another victim of early enforced gender stereotypes.”

  
*

  
“I mean, we could go with a classic. How about an action figure?”

“But they’re all so ugly.”

“That’s really enough of a reason not to buy one?”

“_Yes_. Just. Look at them!”

  
*

  
Amira is holding a plastic sword in her hand and occasionally piercing the air with it, “I know I gave my veto on the guns, but I wouldn’t be mad if someone gave me a sword for my birthday, to be honest.”

Matteo takes one as well, “I think it’s actually everyone’s deepest dream to own a sword. Swords are badass.”

Amira puts the sword point on the ground and leans her arms on it, “Yeah, I sort of really wish I was a knight.”

Matteo pokes Amira’s side with the swordpoint, “This is your chance. En guard, vile fiend.”

Amira grins, “Be ready to lose all your honour and dignity, vollidiot.”

Matteo does, in fact, lose all his honour and dignity.

  
*

  
They’re strolling through a whole aisle furnished of disney costumes, when Amira asks, “Where’s David, actually?”

Matteo lets his hand brush the soft fabric of the princess dresses as he walks, “He’s visiting an art gallery with Laura. Some private sibling time, you know how it is.”

Amira nods, “You’re really cute together.”

Matteo snorts, “Okay.” After a while, he adds, “You and Mohammed are really cute, too.”

Amira slaps his arm, “I am _not_ cute.”

Matteo grins, “I know, I’m gay, I was referencing Mohammed.”

Amira slaps his arm again, but then she sighs dreamily and smiles, “Yeah, he really is.”

Matteo pinches her cheek, “Look at you! You’re so in love, you’re not yourself. Where’s my, ‘Love is disgusting and men are trash’ coach?”

Amira purses her lips. “Men are still trash, but he can stay.”

“What about me?”

“You’re not a man, you’re just a dumbass.”

“Okay, yeah, fair.”

  
*

  
“Why don’t you just buy him a book?”

“I don’t think children can read at five years old?”

“Can’t they? Shame on the German public education.”

  
*

  
There’s a set of colourful balloons in one corner of the shop and Matteo and Amira just couldn’t stay away.

Both grin up to it, “Balloons are just the best gift ever, at any age.” Matteo says.

“We won’t find anything better than this.” Amira agrees.

“Now we just need to get one.” The balloons are touching the ceiling of the shop, they are bound on the upper part of a shelving unit.

Amira looks around them, “I’ll go find a clerk and tell him to get us one.”

Matteo stops her, shaking his head, “No, _we_ need to get it. Or do you think it would be a worthy birthday present for Mohammed’s little brother if someone else got it down for us?”

“But...”

“You really want to let Mohammed’s little brother down?”

Amira shakes her head, suddenly determined. “I will _not_ let Mohammed’s little brother down.”

“Exactly!” Matteo looks up at the shelving unit. “Okay, two plans. Plan A, you climb on my shoulders.”

“I will not climb on your shoulders.”

“Okay, plan B, I climb on _your_ shoulders. You’re probably stronger than me anyway.”

“No one will climb on any shoulders. But yeah, you’re right, I’m stronger than you.”

“Now I’m out of plans, though.”

“Why don’t you just give me a boost and I’ll climb up on the shelving unit?”

“I thought you were stronger? Why do _you_ need to step on _my_ hands?”

“Because _I_ need to get up there. I can’t let Mohammed’s brother down. This has become a personal challenge.”

“I see, it’s a question of honour.”

“You got it.”

Matteo folds his hands on each other and gets on his knee.

Amira takes hold of the shelves and steps on his folded hands, Matteo raises a little, Amira starts climbing the shelves.

Matteo raises a bit more, then suddenly loses his balance, he stumbles, Amira stumbles with him, the shelving unit stumbles with Amira.

And just like that, Matteo falls, Amira falls, the shelving unit falls, the balloons explode.

It’s a mess. They get thrown out of the shop.

*

Outside, Matteo pats Amira’s shoulder, who looks devastated, and says, “Fuck balloons. They only last a few days, anyway. Worse than hamsters.”

Amira stares at the street, “I’ve never been banned from anything.”

Matteo keeps patting her shoulder, even though he doesn’t feel like that’s really helping. “There’s a first time for anything? If it helps, this is my third.”

Amira looks at him, disbelieving. As he shrugs, like _what can you do?_ She starts smiling and ends up full on shaking with laughter.

“Come,” Matteo says, helping her up from where they had sat down on the sidewalk, “We’ll just get him a plushie from the shop on the parallel street.”

*

They get him a very lovely giraffe plushie indeed, if Matteo may say so.

*

Amira walks him back to his flat. She raises her fist and he bumps his own against it.

“Thanks for today. You were actually helpful.”

“No problem, coach. I actually had fun. Maybe we could do this more often?”

Amira smiles, “Yeah, I’d like to, vollidiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> I googled “recent barbie names” for this. Did u know that the mermaid enchantress barbie costs 75€??? The barbie industry is mad and out of control
> 
> anyway, thank you very much Didi, @saveitforthesongs, for being a wonderful beta and reading through all my, slightly baffling, mistakes!!
> 
> As always, im @rimbaux on tumblr if u want to talk about anything! Comments and kudos are so so so loved


End file.
